A bruise should not be the requirement for evidence of parental abuse.
There are many other ways a child can be harmed.
A parent who remains connected with their child, gets to know who their child is as a person, maintains the child’s trust as someone the child knows will help them when they have a problem, the parent may be strict or not but won’t be abusive.
I know a lot of parents who pretty much prevent their teenage daughters from dating or going out late nights. That is strict but not abusive.
This blog explains to all loving parents what dictatorial parenting looks like and how and why it fails to produce godly, happy children.
“Because we’re your parents” can mean a lot of things.
It can mean “we’re total control freaks who want to make sure you only do what we let you do,” or it can mean “we would never forgive ourselves if we let you do this and you got hurt, and we think that you getting hurt in some way is a likely outcome of you doing this, but we know you won’t accept our experience as a good basis for believing that.”
Blind Obedience Is expected from the child to the point the child is expected to worship the parent.
The child is taught at people who don’t comply with the parent’s beliefs are disobedient, rebellious, lacking faith, demons, or enemies of the faith.
Parents will go into Dichotomous Thinking, Dividing people into two parts: those who agree with the parent and those who don’t. The parent makes fun of, belittles, and shows prejudice towards other’s beliefs because they want their child to have the same belief system as them .
They will indulge in Elitism. The parent refuses to associate with people or groups they consider impure or unholy or not matching their standards , even restricts the child to do so.
If the child fails to adhere to their set system they can resort to
▪ Victim Card – When all else fails, parents play the victim card to control behavior.
▪ Gaslighting – Lying about the past to intentionally making a child doubt their memory, perception, and sanity.
▪ Projection – Parents dump their issues onto the child as the child did it.
▪ Twisting – When confronted, parents twist the truth to blame the child for their actions.
▪ Manipulation – Making a child fear the worst such as abandonment or rejection.
▪ The Stare – An intense stare with no feeling behind it.
▪ Silent Treatment – Punishment by ignoring for long periods of time.
▪ Rage – An intense, furious anger that comes out of nowhere, usually over nothing, startling and shocking the child into compliance or silence.
The parents who require Submission Requires that the child completely adopts the parent’s point of view. There is no room for differing opinions or questioning their authority. Name calling, chastising, and the silent treatment are common maneuvers into compliance.
Parents use their spiritual authority as justification for why the child should completely submit to them.
We can get caught up in the title and the authority we have and we let it go to our heads.
Are You Abusing Your “Parent Authority Card”?
Real power is the kind that does not involve threats or violence or manipulations .
That is when you know you are doing the right thing because others follow you out of respect and love not because of threats or violence.
There’s a thin line between being strict and abusive.
A strict parent is trying to help the child learn boundaries, without hurting his sense of self while the abusive parent will try to instil their own belief system, perspective , manipulate their child to look others with theirs perspective, limiting their child to grow , evolve , learn, from his/her own belief system ; stripping away his sense of self.
The more parents focus on what they want for their child and the less they focus on helping their children find safe, respectful, doable ways to explore what they’re curious about, the more damage the parents can do.
The best gift you can give your child is freedom while you take care of them simultaneously; freedom to experience life with their own perceptions and perspective , forming their belief system and a stronger sense of self.
That’s the best gift that I got from my parent, the freedom